Stigmatized Disclosure in Close Relationships

Introduction

Self-disclosure, or the business of revealing personal information about ourselves to one another, is a life-long and relationship-long process (Dindia, 1997). Disclosure has long been characterized as the vehicle for intimacy (Gottman et al., 1976). In close relationships sharing information about ourselves is often what propels us forward, makes us feel closer, and creates ties that bind. It is generally accepted that disclosure is beneficial for relationships and that individuals should be actively practicing openness in order to successfully develop, maintain, and repair our connections with others. In many ways this is sound advice: positive disclosure experiences are associated with long-term benefits including higher self-esteem and increased trust within relationships (Chaudoir & Quinn, 2010).

Of course, not all disclosure is “good disclosure.” In new relationships, disclosing too much too soon can create distance rather than intimacy (Altman & Taylor, 1973), and when sharing information that falls outside typical social norms, it is not always rewarding or relationship-building (Wortman et al., 1976). Scholars have also pushed back against the idea that close relationships require total frankness to be satisfying (see Afifi et al., 2007 for a discussion of the ‘ideology of openness’). When considering specific types of disclosure that might not be perceived as “good disclosure,” stigma is a useful example. Stigma has historically been defined as an attribute or characteristic — perhaps visible, perhaps concealable — that is perceived as negative or damaging (Goffman, 1963). Disclosure of a stigmatized identity can result in being devalued by the recipient of the disclosure (Quinn & Earnshaw, 2013), and these consequences might be particularly salient for individuals in established relationships as a lot is “at stake” in the relationship.

Stigmatized disclosures are things we might elect not to share with others when we are worried our partner might disapprove of (i.e., have a negative opinion about the disclosure) or stereotype them (i.e., lump the discloser in with a widely held but oversimplified understanding of a certain type of person). In other words, although disclosure often leads to intimacy, people may hesitate to disclose some things (or take care in deciding when and how to share them), because they worry about the potential outcome, as it is not always positive for the individual or relationship. The idea that a specific disclosure might be “stigmatized” is subjective — that is, some people may find a particular topic difficult to share while others do not. A wide variety of topics may be considered “stigmatized disclosure” depending on the person, the circumstance, and the relationship, including invisible identities such as mental illness, being from a low social class, having a learning disability, and/or being a member of the LGBTQ+ community (Hudson, 2011). Stigmatized disclosures also pertain to certain experiences including sexual, emotional and/or physical abuse, a traumatic health event (e.g., miscarriage, chronic conditions), or societal taboos (e.g., abortion, sexual behavior, addiction) (Chaudoir, 2010). While previous research has identified some specific topics of stigmatized disclosure, additional work is needed to investigate lesser-known topics, as well as unique stigmatized disclosures based on relationship types (e.g., friends, family, romantic).